June 10, 2007
Well, I am sorry about this confession time.
For the first 16 years of my life, I had this conviction:
"My heart will only be for the man that will ask my hand in marriage"
I was really dedicated to do it the way as planned.
I had my very first suitor, when I was in grade 6.. he was really nice *shane, ei:)* but I am just too young and really am not INTO him. So, you probably knew all along what has happened--I turned him down. Honestly, it was hard coz he was really a nice guy. And even after the time that I said no, he still continued to be my friend.
Then, God has blessed me again with suitors. (no pun intended! ^o^)But to my surprise, I was really convinced not to have any of them as my boy. Oh c'mon, I still remember how sad I was! I can still remember the pain of turning down someone, whom (I thought at that time) I can be with until I die.
When I was in the graduating class of 2005, I met someone that I hoped and thought of more often than anybody else. To tell you, he was not my friend, not even my best friend! *josh, i mizz you, ahuhu* I met him only on the net thru friendster. (Nako naman dothz!) Sorry for comparing, but he was different from any of them. He was athletic, God-fearing and a people-person. We started to chat and see each other (which I know wasn't right). Then, I realized I wasn't anymore into the conviction of reserving my heart for the man that I will one day marry. Because I got into him, REALLY into him. And there, I broke my own vow. That was really awful.
After a year, I got out of it and started on with my new phase in life. Everything felt so important-so pivotal. Any second that passes by, I really wanted to make the most out of it. I wanted to make people smile and giggle. I wanted to serve God fully, and hopefully by His grace and mercy, He could give me another chance to love and not make the same mistake as before. And in His mighty hand, He guided me well. ^o^ Lord, thank you ^o^
I am now determined to keep a clean slate until my graduation.
Since God has guided me well enough, He has allowed *bruno* to be around me, and I hope and pray that He will let *bruno* stay with me until the right time of the 'yes' to come out of my lips.
and this is my task right now:
not to make the same mistake as before
I wanted to please God above all
Also, stick with *bruno* with the right motives, in good ways and manners. Without compromising my own set standards just to please *bruno*.
He is really a Godly man, and I still need to wait and pray harder.
This is what I call more that freedom:
LETTING GO
and
LETTING GOD
